Early Widowhood: Solo Travel

Are there destinations that tempt you? Does travelling without your partner intimidate you? I encourage you to consider travel to normalize your annual routine, and this post will give you a few insights.

Before my husband died much too young, I had traveled independently for work and also with him, so the prospect of continuing solo travel did not worry me. After spending 2016 sorting out the estate, I packed my bags again with considerable glee. With 2017’s globe-trotting now behind me, I have also learned a thing or two about solo travel for a widow. It’s different from having a spouse at home waiting for you at the airport!

That year without travel was difficult for someone with itchy feet. I alleviated the frustration with planning 2017’s ambitious itineraries, which required more thought than previous trips.

Three issues had to be acknowledged and considered:

  • I was going to remote places I’d always wanted to visit, but they were not straight-forward destinations like Europe or North America.
  • Would loneliness be an issue?
  • Safety and predatory males (!).

Firstly, I had to consider how I would travel in the more challenging countries, like the remoter parts of Africa and Russia. For example, I couldn’t speak Arabic in Moroccan villages or even read the Cyrillic alphabet in Russia where no signs are translated and few locals speak English. Should I rent a car? The travel advisories for each country made it clear it wasn’t always safe for singles. So for the first time in my life, I opted for small-group tours and a cruise.

My first tour experience convinced me this was an excellent, companionable, fun solution, apart from the irritating issue of single supplements (SS).

Some tour companies and cruise lines charge a SS up to 100 percent of the per person rate or offer the traveler shared accommodation. Neither suit me. I sought advice from friends who travel this way and did significant research on Google. Canadian, Janice Waugh runs Solo Traveler, a blog that provides masses of info and recommends companies to travel with that don’t charge high solo supplements.

I use a British tour company — reasonable rates, worldwide choices, and an average of fifteen per tour. Since my first successful tour, I booked two more with them. Although tour companies will do this, I manage my own flights, trains, and hotels around the tour.

For Russia, I chose a Russian cruise line sailing from Moscow to St. Petersburg for two weeks. The small, three-star ship was two-thirds cheaper than the big river cruise companies and offered single cabins! Not luxurious and no butler, but spotlessly clean, organized, and friendly. The shipboard and local tour guides were superb.

In both cases, there were many solos like me — in fact, 60 percent of the tour company’s travellers are singles. Ages ranged from the mid-forties to eighty, and all were well-educated, civilized, and interesting. Now I am hooked on small-group travel when it is sense for certain destinations and enjoy the company of curious, well-travelled strangers.

Secondly, travelling as a widow or widower can sometimes be lonely. Small tours are not but cruise ships can be. I found that cruisers often travel in groups and rarely invited me to join their activities aboard or ashore. I had to work hard to make friends in this scenario. I now take plenty to read and do to mitigate it. I never hesitate to enjoy a drink in the bar alone and, more often than not, it results in someone joining me.

Thirdly, I practise “safe travel” wherever I am. However, bereaved spouses need to avoid being a target for locals and fellow travellers who may have questionable motives for befriending you. It’s rarely the case, but be discerning and never alone with them. I did get a public marriage proposal from one eighty-year-old golfer last November that, honestly, I enjoyed!!

01Last year taught me to bookend the tours and cruises with two or three days alone in a good hotel — sometimes for me to reset my biological clock; sometimes to relax after a hectic tour and do laundry; and sometimes to just sit and observe city life, or visit somewhere that wasn’t included. Also, I’ve learned to break up long haul flights and stay overnight in airport hotels because I don’t sleep well in planes — it reduces jet lag too.

Major bonuses of solo travel for me outside of tours mean I meet more locals than I ever did in the “couple bubble,” which discourages interactions, and I can spend spare time as I wish.

So if you’ve never traveled solo or taken a small-group tour before, test-drive a short one in your home country first and see how you like it. I guarantee you’ll appreciate the baggage handling, the tour leader, and all the arrangements made for you by the company. Bon voyage!

© Julie H. Ferguson 2018


Vancouver-based Julie H. Ferguson is an addicted traveler who is intensely interested in the history and culture of foreign lands, as well as Canada, and her stories and images reflect this focus. Julie never leaves home without her cameras and voice recorder, always looking for the colour and sounds that captivate readers everywhere.

A non-fiction writer for forty-five years and an avid photographer, Julie is also the author of twenty-six books, including four about Canadian naval and church history, six for writers, and sixteen photo portfolios. Her articles have appeared in national and international markets, both print and online, and her images have been exhibited, published, and sold.

www.beaconlit.com

1 Comment

  1. Julie, I just want to let you know how heartwarming, touching and entertaining your stories on Early Widowhood are. Although I am not yet there, I am sure my time will come and your stories are a powerful tool for the future of all widows. Thank you.

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